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I wanted to write something about the “why”.
Why I do this.
And I write it not only for you, but also a little for myself.
When I visited AZ Zeno in Knokke a few weeks ago and ended up in a fascinating conversation with Dr. Bart Devos in his consultation room, his last question before I put my coat on was: “Floor, and what were your insights during your burnout? What helped you?".
My answer was quick, clear and without hesitation: “Slowing down, doctor. I was able to discover the blessing of slowing down. And I still discover it every day. Slowing down to be able to connect with our feelings. As human beings we have a “right to feel”.
It is a theme that comes up every time during the mandala workshops: we think our feelings away. We thínk them away and meanwhile we thínk thát we feel and that we know whát we feel. And while we think it, we also keep listing all the reasons why we feel like this or that and that brings us seamlessly every time to all those guilty people and guilty situations that are the cause of our feelings. Very often this inner song never ends and plays in the background all day long. Well, that song is the lid on the pot where the feeling is allowed to ferment for a long time.
(Not to mention all the mindsets we’ve learned that mostly preach about “playing fair wheather”.)
As a result, our real feeling is given no place and no possibility of expression.
But…
Drawings reflect that – in so many wonderful ways.
And in all their wonderful ways, here, at my table, they are sometimes the artist’s first timid opportunity of expression.
The moment that this shows itself, I would like to be able to stop time.
No more clock, no more ticking seconds and minutes.
At such a moment I would like to turn the place where we sit into a cave where time cannot reach, where no one can reach, where only the heart of our Great Mother beats and is present for that sacred moment when it shows itself.
...
Why am I doing this?
And why on earth am I bringing in the moon?
Because the moon lifts the lid of that jar. Because the moon gives those fermented feelings some extra power, so that lid starts to dance and maybe even fly off.
Ánd because we tend to go at it with an insanely large crusher of thoughts, so that “liberation” doesn’t even stand a chance.
Apart from the enormous amount of energy that requires, it often works for a while.
I then see and hear people who are fed up and i recognize the despair of not knowing anymore, of not being able to go on anymore.
We often have to be really tired of it before we can see it.
But we can also take action sooner.
Is that keeping control over your process?
Or is it choosing "ownership"?
For fully becoming and embracing who you are and also stand firmly in it? And in the first instance that is standing in: “being human”!
Feel what it is for you...
...
Sometimes we have to stop giving words to something.
Sometimes we need to be still and just sit with the feeling.
Sometimes we have to be quieter than quiet and even just feel the feeling.
It takes time to learn how to do that, and sometimes you can use some help.
It takes time because you also have to learn to step out of the “rat race”.
But know that the battle you fight with your thoughts is ultimately a lost cause.
You actually choose.
Always.
And every choice is fine.
Totally!
But I wish you the blessing of “slowing down”.
Because with that comes the blessing of “seeing”.
Love xxx